Graduate Scholarships and the Easter Bunny

I have spent approximately 50 hours researching grant and scholarship opportunities to cover the cost of my Masters program. Unfortunately, I am in graduate school, Caucasian, my father is not a disabled military vet, and all of my "volunteer" community work was done internationally. It has gotten so bad that this morning I actually submitted two entries about the Easter Bunny just to earn $1,000. First, I played the role of financial adviser for Mr. Easter Bunny who wanted to put his 100 kids through college (en vitro gone bad?)....and apparently, telling him that it was useless to look for scholarship funding wasn't going to win me any awards. Then, I proceeded to write a "fuzzy and warm" poem about the Easter Bunny. And this scholarship was only offered for graduate students!!! What's the use of ability or need assessment when you can write fuzzy poems?!

Unfortunately, I don't qualify to apply for the Seventeen Cover-Girl Award Program; although, I would have given it some thought if I was planning for my college education when I was 12-years-old.

I'm beginning to wonder if internet research isn't the best way to pursue graduate school scholarships.

Transition Tunnel

This tunnel is a great description of what my life is like. It feels as though I’ve been in a long tunnel of “transition” since August of last year and it seems as though the tunnel exit is still a long way off. My transition started a couple of months before I left Puerto Viejo and doesn’t seem like it will end until I have started graduate school and am settled into a new apartment with a new job (in addition to this one with Alternative Missions). I know the end is in sight, but it still feels a long way off.

Seeking God to Ensure Victory

I received an encouraging email with this devotion from Charles Spurgeon, one of my favorite teachers.

"And David enquired of the Lord,"
—2 Samuel 5:23

WHEN David made this inquiry he had just fought the Philistines, and gained a signal [dominating] victory. The Philistines came up in great hosts [armies], but, by the help of God, David had easily put them to flight [beat them and ran them off]. Note, however, that when they came a second time, David did not go up [out] to fight them without inquiring of [asking –praying to] the Lord. Once he had been victorious, and he might have said, as many have in other cases, "I shall be victorious again; I may rest quite sure that if I have conquered once, I shall triumph yet again. Why should I wait to seek the Lord?" But not David. He [David] had gained one battle by the strength of the Lord; he would not venture on [try] another [one] until he had insured the same [victory]. He inquired, [of God] "Shall I go up against them?" He waited until God's sign was given. Learn from David to take no step without God. Christian, if you want to know the path of duty, take God for your compass; if you want to steer your ship through the dark billows, put the tiller [rudder] into the hand of the Almighty. Many a rock might be escaped, if we would let our Father take the helm [steering wheel]; many a shoal [coral reef] or quicksand we might well avoid, if we would let His sovereign [divine] will choose and command. The Puritan [spiritually astute forefathers] said, "As sure as ever a Christian carves for himself, he'll cut his own fingers." This is a great truth. Said another old divine [preacher], "He that goes before the cloud of God's provi­dence goes on a fool's errand," and so he does. We must see God's providence leading us, and if providence waits, wait until providence comes. He who goes before providence will be very glad to run back again. "I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt [you shall] go," is God's promise to His people. Let us, then, take all our perplexities [uncertainties] to Him, and say, "Lord, what will you have me to do?" Do not leave your chamber [bed room] this morning without inquiring of [praying with] the Lord.

I find myself reading this passage (or pretty much anything) in light of my upcoming "battle" of paying for graduate school. I'm encouraged by David's example of seeking the Lord for every decision. In some ways, I'm reassured of my decision to attend grad school because I know it is what God has for me to continue serving Him in missions. I've sought Him in this & know that He will give me victory. I think what trips me up is that God could go about granting victory a thousand different ways.

It's funny how much faith I have that God will enable me to succeed. I trust that God will enable me to pay for grad school, daily life, and missionary care. He's proven faithful in the past & it assures me that He will prove faithful for my future. But there are also times that I have great doubts about the impossibility of coming up with so much money over the next 4+ years of my life. We're talking about a $40,000 education, plus monthly living expenses, plus materials and trips for missionary care.

Right now I'm in the process of making some big decisions about applying for jobs that will enable me to do what God's called me to do. This week, it's particularly difficult to wrap my mind around. But as Spurgeon urges us on by David's example, I will continue to seek the Lord in this - my job placement & finances.

I Made It!

I got a call from Azusa Pacific University telling me that I’ve been accepted into the Masters of Social Work program. Not only that, but the call was made by the professor who reads through the applications before forwarding them onto the board for acceptance. She even made it a point to tell me how much she enjoyed reading my 10-page personal statement, saying that it was a pleasure to read about my personal & professional experiences (mostly in Cost Rica) and that my application essay was very well written. This was extremely encouraging news as I spent a lot of time on the essay and have had fears about starting grad school after such a 4-year break from undergraduate studies.

Acceptance into graduate school at APU means a few known factors and a bunch more unknowns.

What I know - That I will be attending classes and doing field work in the Azusa area for the next four years, which means that I will be moving up north. I also know that I’ll continue traveling and working with Alternative Missions, but will limit my hours per week (I’ll work between 7 – 10 hours a week for A.M.)

What I don’t know…yet – When or where I’ll be moving, what job I’ll be working to help pay for grad school and living expenses, how this job will work in conjunction with part-time field work during my 2^nd & 4^th years.

Why God likes risk takers…

I was only 22-years-old when I left my friends and family and moved to a foreign country, alone. And now, four years later, I feel the same amount of hesitancy mixed with surety about beginning graduate school and a new stage of life. Both transitions are marked by fear of the unknown as well as confidence in God. Yet, when I reflect on my experiences in Costa Rica I cannot help but admit the strong trust I have in God. He has been faithful to sustain me and that gives me confidence that He’ll be faithful to do it again.

Years ago, as an undergraduate at Azusa Pacific, I remember sitting in class, “The Life and Teachings of Jesus,” with Dr. Baloian. I’ll never forget the day we talked about the disciple, Peter. The gospels tell stories of Peter that make him sound like a wreck. He was constantly putting his foot in his mouth (Mt. 17:4-6) and suffered the consequences of his rash actions (ex – beginning to drown while attempting to walk on water toward Jesus, Mt. 14:30). And yet, Peter became the rock on which God chose to build His church (Mt. 16:18). Through all of his foot-in-mouth experiences, Peter experienced God in ways that no other disciple did. Plus, Peter walked on water.

On that particular day in class, I learned a lesson I’ll never forget – that God likes risk takers. For someone looking to plant a church or start a new business, Peter would be the last person considered for a high-profile job. There’s a good chance that a risk-taker like Peter could cause unrecoverable mistakes. And yet, that is exactly the sort of man that God chose. God likes risk takers.

This tells me something about God that I like and that I fear. God is actually pleased when I attempt something that could turn into a huge failure – like moving to Costa Rica to plant a new mission location or like attending graduate school to pursue missionary care. There is a lot of risk involved financially, emotionally and relationally. Yet Peter’s story leads me to believe that risking failure actually leads to greater chances of success and greater opportunity for God to show Himself strong (1 Cor. 1:25-29).

Lord, this is a crazy new transition. Show yourself mighty in the areas of my finances, emotions and relationships as step out in risk and in faith.