Called to Suffer

The theme of suffering the Bible has always struck a chord deep inside of me. There are numerous passages throughout the Old Testament & the New that have challenged me at various phases of my life and drawn me into a deeper understanding of God. This past week has been another of those instances.

In church last Sunday, we studied 2 Timothy 1:8-12 where the Apostle Paul explains to Timothy that to live a godly life = personal sacrifice = suffering. Paul has obviously endured his fair share of suffering (2 Cor. 11:23 - 27). Yet, as a mentor & father-figure to Timothy, his parting instructions are not how to avoid suffering. Instead, he begs Timothy to "share with me in the sufferings for the good news..." (v. 8) And Paul goes on to explain why it's worth it (v. 9 - 12), but still exhorts Timothy to live a life of suffering.

And I've been considering what this means for me. I want to life an effective life. I don't want to waste my short time on this earth seeking comfort and stability (although these desires war within me). Yet to pursue a life that is challenging, that invokes all levels of suffering, and that therefore is of more value.

My 4 years of sacrifice in Puerto Viejo were, by far, the most difficult in my life. My personal safety was almost always at risk, personal comforts were unavailable, conflicts with staff were imminent & family was far, far away. And yet, I can say with all certainty that it was worth it. Within my suffering, I experienced far greater joys in relationship, nature, and knowing God than ever before in my life.

In contrast, over the past 8 months, I've been enjoying a much more comfortable season in life & so I'm thankful for it. It's a time of replenishing for my soul as well as my emotional & physical needs. But I don't want to remain here. I'm sure that this is just a season of life, it is not meant to be my life. This is just a rest-stop on the marathon of life & ministry. And this is very important for me to remember as I'm in a place of "new beginnings" as I seek a job & living conditions for the next 4+ years. I'd prefer to seek a job & lifestyle that is effective in evoking change on a Kingdom level than to seek a job that ensures my comfort.

I've had people ask me how I could endure such hardships as I did in Costa Rica...and how, on earth, I would choose to re-enter a life of hardship. And my reason is this, I know WHOM I have believed. "For this reason, I also suffer these things...for I know whom I have believed & am persuaded that He is able to guard me." (2 Tim. 1:12).

I know whom I have believed, & that is Jesus Christ, my faithful High Priest. Hebrews, chapter 2, talks about Jesus' suffering saying that, "It was fitting for Him (God)...to make the Captain of their suffering (meaning Jesus) perfect through suffering." (2:10). WHY? So that he could partake in all things we humans do, meaning suffering, in order to be a faithful High Priest (v. 17). "For in that He Himself has suffered, being tempted, He is able to aid those who are tempted." (v. 18).

For this very reason...because I have a High Priest who can sympathize with my sufferings, my weaknesses & my pain...I am able to choose a life that is effective through suffering.

How weird to be a rich American & have to choose a life of suffering instead of being born into it.

The Wrong Angle

Missionary Care is not necessarily a new field. It's been around, without the title & direct purpose, for years. Within the last 8 to 10 years (as I understand) it has become much more prevalent in mission organizations who are developing new programs to address the needs of their missionaries. Yet, somehow, I still feel like a trailblazer and this is why...

• I am developing my career in this field, entry level, at a young age. It is the goal of my education and training. Yet, almost every missionary care provider I've met was either first a psychologist who saw the need or a veteran missionary asked to shift careers by their organization. In other words, they had a different career goal & then happened upon missionary care. Why does this make me a trailblazer? Because no experienced missionary care provider can adequately counsel me in making career choices at this stage of my life/career.
  
• I am pursuing a Masters of Social Work instead of a Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy. So, far, every experienced missionary care provider I've met encourages me to study social work over counseling. And every single one of them are counselors. They see a deep need for this variety of professionalism, yet cannot describe exactly what it might look like...since there aren't many social workers breaking ground in this field.
  

Last weekend, at my grandma's 80th birthday, my wealthy & business savvy uncle challenged my way of thinking. I've been placing a lot of weight on my Masters level education as training for missionary care. In considering jobs to pursue while in graduate school, my criteria has been to find a job that pays well & fits my school schedule. And apparently, this is inadequate.

My uncle, quite persuasively, told me to get a job as a mail clerk in the company that one day, I'd like to run. Now, he admits that he doesn't understand the world of non-profit mission organizations, but he has a point. Hands-on training is what will make me good at what I do. Education enhances my ability & influence to make me great at what I do. Therefore, I should seek a job that offers the best training in this field regardless of my previous prerequisites.

Now, I am already doing missionary care with Alternative Missions and love it. But Alternative Missions isn't big enough to pay me a salary and God has not provided sufficient support to continue to live on & pay for graduate school over the next 4 years.

So now begins the journey to pray & network to see what job God provides.

Gaining More Insight

Today, I am sitting in Helene, Honduras & considering my career in missionary care. Participating in my 2nd MCT trip has really begun to clarify certain aspects ...

1. Missionary Care retreats like this one are necessary. Teaching combined with time for personal counseling sessions is a must. Therefore, I am planning to spend 2+ years to become a licensed therapist after completing graduate school. I want to be sure to have my tool belt complete for the work at hand.

2. It is important to have people of varying roles on the missionary care team (MCT). For example, it is important that the counselors are a 3rd party to Alternative Missions. In the future, there will be very few situations where it would appropriate for me to counsel an AM staffer. In partering with various organizations, however, I can play the 3rd party role.

At the same time, it has been important to have someone who understands the culture and nature of the organization and the ways that the team operates. Utilizing this person as a teacher/trainer is a great idea. Therefore, the combination of using an "insider" with someone of a 3rd party seems to be a good idea. My future with Alternative Missions will most likely continue as an "insider." My relationship with other organizations will be more 3rd party.

3. Finding ways to continue care/counseling after one week is imperetive, yet extremely challenging. For this reason, I would like to live in a specific area of the world in order to offer ongoing care to missionaries from varying organizations in that region. For example, I could live in Guatamala and offer care to missionaries from all over Mexico. I could also travel to various locations for specific training or to counsel for small periods of time.

I'm sure there are more thoughts, but I'm a bit tired and hot to type them yet.