My Jungle

The other day, for no apparent reason, I missed the jungle so badly that I couldn't shake it. Normally, when I miss Puerto Viejo, I miss the people, friends, experiences, and the laid-back lifestyle. But most recently, I just honestly miss jungle living.

The jungle is FULL of life. Everywhere you turn, you see life happening....from the "walking palm" who's roots show that it's moved closer to the sunlight to the bugs and lizards that swallow you up if you stand in one place for too long. One big jungle tree contains up to 8 different Bromeliads, vines & hanging roots...and that doesn't even take into consideration the amount of animals that thrive off of it.

I miss the stifling heat & humidity of the jungle.....the musty smells and the jungle sounds.

I miss seeing all of my jungle animals. It became so commonplace to see sloths, monkeys, toucans, poison dart frogs, tree frogs, iguanas, etc. on my way to work. But I never took any of it for granted.

So often, my experiences in Costa Rica were lonely. Yes, I had friends & teammates... but being single & having lived alone so often, most of what I did, I did alone. But somehow, I never felt lonely in the jungle. I don't know whether it was because the evidence of God was so clear or His Spirit so close, but the jungle is not a lonely place.

I'm still looking for places in So. Cal that contain this much life....

Through the Desert

Sitting with girls from my small group, we discussed life & love over falafels. I so deeply appreciate their friendship as we can take a conversation from jokes about dating to deeper life issues. One of the girls was sharing about her week & a seminar she attended by one of my favorite Bible professors at APU. She shared a concept he taught through that I've been mulling over all morning...

In dissecting the new testament passage of Jesus' time of temptation in the dessert, he pointed out that Jesus was "led by the Spirit into the desert." (Matt. 4:1). The Holy Spirit purposefully took Jesus to a place of death and famine. I've heard very little teaching on the fact that God intended this time of difficulty. What I have heard on the subject is what God intends to teach us through these challenges, that He will draw us closer to Himself, that He will never give us more than we can handle. And while all of this may be true, I learned a new approach to the story that I like better.

Jesus couldn't have been any "closer" to God. In fact, He was God in human flesh. For us, it must be the same... being so filled with the Holy Spirit, actually requires times of death and famine.

God intends it.

I've been in "the desert" in life and its horrible. Certain aspects of life reeked of death and my soul felt dry. In no way did I consider this as God's way of assuring me I was fulfilling His great purposes, that I was on the right path. The desert may actually speak of a deep connection & closeness to God. And I find this deeply comforting.

Transition Update

I haven't given recent updates to my transition to life in the States. But this month, I've arrived at a new point in my transition....the job search. And I have an interview today. So, here are my thoughts:

I'm having a difficult time trusting God lately. In a certain way, I feel like living in Costa Rica forced me to trust God because there was so much of life that I could not control. But here in the States, I have SO many options & decisions to make. The big decisions that lay ahead of me (where to work & live) are very much in my realm of control to make decisions about. Maybe it's not that I don't trust God...maybe it's just that I recognize my need to practice the discipline of listening to God.

In many ways, I am thankful for entering the field of social work because it's a very similar field to missions & helping people of great need. I don't think I could ever go back to an office job or a career that didn't involve helping people. Even still, I find myself pursuing the more extreme job opportunities with the VERY poor or needy & then looking to rent an apartment & live among them. It's like I have a weird addiction to extreme ministry, which I attribute in part to my experiences in CR. Either that, or its simply following the philosophy of ministry that Jesus set...serving incarnationally among the poor, the outcasts & the marginalized. Once a missionary, always a missionary.

Dream job?

Well, I've discovered exactly what I want to d0 for work while I'm in grad school. Drawing upon the 2 strongest desires that God has placed in my heart, it would offer unparalleled training in community development and member care. The only problem is that it doesn't pay much & I'm attending a private graduate school. But I'm not easily dissuaded & have figured out a plan.

I have to find a job & I have to move. What if I found a job that assists in community service - like family resource centers, wrap-around programs, etc. And what if this job was near a ccda? I could work in the field of community development and live among the people. The good news is that this isn't a ludicrous or far-fetched possibility. And it may actually be what God has in mind. I want to do this in Costa Mesa/Santa Ana.