A Test of Faith & Taste of Humility

After 4 years of God's financial provision as a missionary, I'm ashamed to admit that I sometimes I still doubt His provision. Today I receive my bi-weekly financial report from Alternative Missions & saw new donations for this upcoming MCT trip to Mexico. Upon seeing these donations, I shouted out praise to God (and consequently sent my dog into a barking rage). :) And in that moment, I also repented as my excitement revealed the doubts in my heart.

Our economy is changing and it has affected many friends and loved ones. While some believe the drop in the economy is simply a hoax from the government, I know people that have lost jobs and houses. Whether or not it's a hoax or a truly difficult season, people are struggling financially and I am saddened for them. Consequently, these changes in the economy not only affect friends & churches, but also have effects in my financial support. This has made the fundraising for the upcoming MCT trips a matter of prayer & apparently worry. I didn't recognize that my heart felt anxious until the security of donations came in.

At that same moment, I felt so humbled by the financial donations people made. Living on faith-based support might be different than working as an executive manager, but it is the same God who supplies our needs or takes away our income. Knowing some people that are struggling financially makes me keenly aware of the sacrifices they make to be obedient in the money they give to God & He gives to me. Lord make me generous with that which you have given!

All of this caused me to reflect (and blog), remembering what I know to be true - That God is good. That God is faithful. That God has called me. And that God is in control. And I'm so thankful.

*And if you're curious after reading this, I only have $200 to raise for the Mexico trip (and another $1300 for Honduras).

Jesus had dirty feet

This week I have been struck by Jesus’ humanity. Jesus got tired, thirsty and sorrowful. But more than that, Jesus had dirty feet. Hebrews 4:15-16 says that Jesus was tempted in ALL ways, but did not sin. That means that even in all of the annoyances that he dealt with, Jesus didn’t act out in annoyance or frustration.

When you think about it, I’m sure there were plenty of every day frustrations that Jesus dealt with. Having no car & walking everywhere he went, I’m sure Jesus experienced at least one cramped muscle. As a carpenter, I’m sure he hammered his thumb a few times. He probably got the runs, got sick of his arguing companions, and got tired of being sweaty and dirty all the time. I bet Jesus even had to deal with bugs.

And when I consider it all in light of this Easter week, I am even more amazed. For the biggest act of all eternity, the crucifixion of the Lamb on the Cross, Jesus laid aside his deity (Jesus was 100% God and 100% man). As he was led away to Jewish and then Roman trials, beat and whipped beyond recognition, made to walk with his cross and then nailed to it…Jesus was fully human.

And this makes Jesus safe to me. He really does understand me and is able to grant mercy and forgiveness with compassion because he understands what it means to be human.

Meetup.com (not hookup.com)

I'm proud to announce that I finally attended my first real meet-up last week and am hooked. I found the website MeetUp.com when I first returned home and signed myself up to hang out with groups of people with similar interests. Last week I went on my first hike and have been on 2 more since. *

Coming back after 4 year deficit & living down in San Clemente has made it difficult to reconnect with the few friends that still live in California. Plus, I work from home, which means that I have most of my daily conversations with my dog, who is not the best conversationalist. Being the extrovert that I am, I have a deep need to connect with people. Not only that, but after living in a small town for so long, it's difficult for me not to see the same people every day and it's easy to feel lonely. I miss "community."

So, in an effort to build more community in my life, I sat down at my computer...and searched the web. :)

If anyone would like to join me on a hike or cooking event, just email me. People that join these groups are not psycho (which I was a little afraid of), but just want to connect with other people. So, if you need a little more community in your life, do something about it. I joined a small group at my church & this website. This is a start to creating community in my life.

*Disclaimer: MeetUp.com is not a dating service. It is a website that allows you to network with people of similar interests in your area. I am part of a hiking, cooking, and book-reading group.

Recreation Should Restore

For the past couple of weeks, I've been in dialogue with fellow missionaries about finding rest for the purpose of rejuvenating your soul. Living internationally, finding rest can be difficult, but is of utmost importance for spiritual vitality. You're in a new culture with a new set of rules for rest, not to mention the added (and unrealistic) pressure of "advancing the Kingdom of God one soul at a time." Sometimes it's difficult to break away (one friend mentioned having to leave the island altogether because there is no place to hide where someone won't find her and need her attention). Other times, and this was true of me in Puerto Viejo, I was able to "get away," but had no idea what to do once I had my alone time. Safety was always an issue as were cultural misperceptions and just the boring atmosphere of living hundreds of miles away from any movie theater or mall (which were the "special" things I did when visiting the capitol). But throughout my 3 1/2 years in PV, I learned to enjoy the slower pace of life, made a few friends, and was able to find ways to rest & rejuvenate my soul.

Now, living in the States, I've had to re-learn how to rejuvinate my soul. Throughout my time in PV, I learned that my soul feels rest in a few different ways - long walks or bike rides, enjoying nature either sitting on the beach or walking a jungle trail, playing with my dog, or hanging out with friends for dinner or at the Skate Park. And while I can no longer enjoy the jungle trails, I have found alternative ways to break away, enjoy nature, and connect with God.

But along with these new ways of finding rest, I have spent much more time in front of the television. Living in PV, any form of entertainment was gladly welcomed and it was nice to borrow a DVD, kick back on my wooden sofa and turn my brain off for a couple hours. Here in the States, life is too efficient. I accomplish more things in less amount of time and for possibly the first time in my life, I am not over committed. And to celebrate, I sit in front of the tv and have become addicted to DVR and reality tv shows. And I have found that this does not rejuvenate my soul.

In his article "Play Time," Alex Chediak addresses this issue of recreation. From his perspective, our North American understanding of work creeps into our recreation in the idea that I work hard in order to get my "me time". In striving for this alone time, we often find ourselves vegging in front of the computer or tv or PS2. And as a result, we don't actually sleep better and do not feel refreshed and ready for more work. His solution? Be intentional about your recreation.

I agree that it is important to choose activities that refresh your soul. In fact, the Bible is full of commands about rest (observing the Sabbath should be first to pop into your head). It's as if God knows what we need & has therefore given numerous examples and commands to keep us sane and healthy (which is no big surprise since He created us). One of my favorite examples of soul refreshing is in 2 Kings 3:15. When Elisha listened to music, the "hand of the Lord came upon him." He was inspired by music.

So, what refreshes or inspires you? Maybe it's time to consider the way you spend your time in recreation and be more purposeful about it.