God is a Person

Simply reading the Bible, I encountered not a misty vapor but an actual Person. A Person as unique and distinctive and colorful as any person I know. God has deep emotions; he feels delight and frustration and anger….As I read through the Bible, I marveled at how much God let’s human beings affect him. I was unprepared for the joy and anguish – in short, the passion – of the God of the Universe. By studying “about” God, by taming him and reducing him to words and concepts that could be filed away in alphabetical order, I had lost the force of the passionate relationship God seeks above all else. The people who related to God best – Abraham, Moses, David, Isaiah, Jeremiah – treated him with startling familiarity. They talked to God as if he were sitting in a chair beside them, as one might talk to a counselor, a boss, a parent, or a lover. They treated him like a person.

Philip Yancy, Disappointment with God

Booty call

Last night, somewhere in the midst of heavy doses of the "F" word and racist conversations, I learned to love Marines and their booty call (I mean, girlfriends). As a social worker, I'm not supposed to pigeonhole people. I am supposed to be amazingly gifted at traversing between various types of people, cultures, and social contexts. But last night, I didn't particularly feel like engaging the stereotypical Marines in my living room....until I actually began to talk with them as human beings and good friends of my roomies.

In a room full of various forms of black clothing, tight skirts and tall boots, I definitely stood out with my white Old Navy sweater and rainbow sandals. But in a weird way, and after everyone was a few beers into it, they actually opened up and shared their stories with me. I found out that one kid (they all seemed so young) was headed off to college to pursue a career in football. He got all shy and goofy when the guys praised his skills on the Marine's football team. Another couple is moving to Texas soon and shared excitement and fear in this transition. And with a couple of other girls, all we talked about was dessert. But in the end, when they all headed off to the Tavern to finish out the night, I actually received a few hugs. Hugs. Embraces from strangers who might have never spoken with me, or I with them, unless we had been in the setting created last night. And I'd like to think that in just a few hours in my home, with a listening hear and genuine concern from a stranger, my guests were able to be themselves and take off the stereotypical mask for a moment.

As I reflect on the events of last night, I realize that I have so much yet to learn about mercy. Jesus, when questioned about hanging out, eating and drinking with sinners responded saying, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy and not sacrifice..." (Matt. 9:12-13; Luke 5:30-13).

Justice is what Love looks like in Public

We studied Isaiah 58 in church this week and the promises about justice have been rehearsing in my mind all weekend. Maybe it's just because I'm studying social and institutional injustices or because I now work with individuals who suffer unjustly and deeply on a daily basis, I'm not sure....but for whatever reason, these verses resonate deep in my soul.

The chapter starts out with religious people who have been practicing the discipline of fasting and are legitimately mad at God because He's not responding. And I've been here & I know these people and it can be frustrating when you feel that you're doing something to please God and He doesn't seem to care. But in Isaiah 58, God eventually responds to their fast saying that no matter how much they afflict their own souls, their voice is not heard in heaven because they seek personal gain and actually cause those around them to be oppressed in the midst of their attempts at spirituality. God doesn't like their fast. Instead, He says:

"Is this not the fast that I have chosen:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the heavy burdens,
to let the oppressed go free,
and that you break every yoke?
Is it not the share your bread with the hungry,
And that you bring to your house the poor who are cast out;
When you see the naked, that you cover him,
And not hide yourself from your own flesh?"


This is justice. God is just and although He might choose to wait to bring about justice, maybe it's for the purpose of allowing us to take action for Him. Our discipline of fasting, or denying ourselves, should look like justice.

And the crazy thing is that the rest of the chapter in Isaiah is full of promises of how God will restore my soul if I choose His fast. God promises that my healing will spring forth speedily, that my righteousness will go before me, that He will guard me, and that He will hear me and be near to me. I will be like a well-watered garden.

And the truth is, justice is messy. It's not glamorous, but full of suffering. In order to loose the bonds of wickedness, you must be around the wicked. To undo heavy burdens, you must first feel their weight. And this is difficult to sign up for....

Back online

I have been away from Blogger, fulfilling my role as a student & professional, and allowing this method of communication to fade. But last week I had a shocking realization that for the first time in my life, I no longer have an outlet to debrief about life...and I'm the type that needs an outlet.

For almost 5 years I wrote newsletters to one hundred people about what was happening in my life. And while people didn't always have the time to read them, I was always shocked at how many people really knew what was going on. Their interest was not so much in me, but in the work I did. And I have to say that it was quite encouraging to have people, often that I didn't know very well, praying for me. Praying that God would equip me and work through me to fulfill His purposes.

Now, four months into my new identity as an Executive Director and graduate student, I realize that there is not even one person who knows all of what's going on in my life...and no one, except my mom, who is praying for me. My life has become compartmentalized with a handful of people in each category: work, school, small group, new church, new house, random friends. My regular "pillars" of people who used to know it all are no longer available for various reasons....and all of a sudden, last Sunday, this suffocating realization hit me.

So, while I realize that I am quite possible the only person who actually reads this blog (yes, it's my own), I will turn back to blogging and this electronic version of myself. I'll work on reintegrating my virtual life and hope that it spills out into the real world.